I have employed the low voice tactic. That is where I get on the phone, and use my low voice and express my displeasure in a measured pace and tone. And I repeat myself several times at various points in the conversation letting them know that I am upset. I use my low voice because the opposite of low is shrieky and hysterical.
Unfortunately, I am learning that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. I have been civil and polite, and I hope that I continue to be. I want to respect the other person because I'm talking to a real, flesh and blood person made in the image of God on the other line. I understand it's not wise burn your bridges because you will probably need their help in the future. But darn it, sometimes, unless you kick up a fuss, being nice won't get you what you want. Sometimes you need to tell people you're not happy or nothing will be done. I really hope I don't have to resort to shrieky and hysterical. It's unprofessional and un-ladylike, but I am getting desperate.
(And you don't want to be too mean, because you could be the reason for the high turnover of staff there, and then you get stuck with newbies who can't help you much at all except to increase your stress when something goes wrong)
Other wise words about low voices from friends:
I think the low tone voice is very effective. I have seen others put it to good use – it gives the impression of being in control and conveys a sense of power! It says “I will not back down, but I am in control of the situation”. The shrieky and hysterical can convey too much of being an “emotional woman” to others, and they just think you’re whiney and annoying.
Speaking in a low voice is also good for voice projection in large echo-y halls. :-)
When our children were little I discovered that whingeing drives me nutso! My 2 default positions in response were to give in, or kick the whingeing child from here to next week (so to speak). Neither of these options were good ones. It also occurred to me that the essence of whingeing was the high-pitched voice. So i used to stop the child in mid whinge, & ask them to (in a VERY deep-throated voice) s-p-e-a-k d-e-e-p-l-y-! They could say or ask whatever they wanted, so long as they spoke "through their boots, not their eyeballs". I'm not sure whether they got what they wanted more often than if they had continued to whinge, but they did get listened to, and none of them perished at my hands as I responded to the "kick them from here to next week" urge. And none of them are chronic whingers as adults; I count this as a success of parenting!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mum! (for commenting, and for training me not to whinge)
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