Do what you want.
This sounds selfish and financially dangerous, but what I mean is, start with two people getting married with their friends and family watching; absolutely everything else is optional. Cull out everything, and then think about what really will make a wedding celebratory for you. (A church, a reception and a photographer. A beach, a BBQ and a volleyball game. A tree, a morning tea and a gramaphone.)
The danger this avoids is, looking at other people's weddings, or reading bridal magazines, setting a bar for yourself and getting all sorts of ideas you never had before. You never thought about what shoes you'd wear, but now you've realised you have to wear pretty white high heels. No, actually that's a wedding industry convention. You can wear pink thongs or white dunlops, it makes no difference. Seriously, everything is up for grabs. Reception. Bridesmaids. Speeches. Cars. Food. Flowers. Photographers. Someone told me recently that the average wedding today is a super-wealthy wedding from a few generations ago—feasts and wear-once-clothes and glorious fun hoopla. Did you notice that when Elizabeth married Mr Darcy, they didn't have a reception, or speeches, or bridesmaids, or photographers? It was church, then wave goodbye from the carriage. That's a pretty low bar.
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