How to handle difficult phone conversations.

I'm signed up to Smart Grid, the trial electricity usage thing. (lol, just realised that I got a smart meter installed probably without my landlord's permission. Oh well!) So far, after 6 weeks or so, the fun gadget I was promised which tells me electricity usage in real time has not appeared, I've received non-stop ALERT! text messages from something called Budgetsmart which I took a while to realise is to do with Smart Grid not spam, and basically I don't feel smarter, I'm just being billed more annoyingly. However the customer support people on the phone have been nice, and even when I grumpily replied to the automated SMS "going into debit" reminder ("No I'm not I just paid lots of money!" or something along those lines) I got a courtesy phone call the next day.

So I'm getting good at talking on the phone about stuff that I don't understand but am annoyed about.

0. Write a list or a summary. This is optional, it just helps when I'm out of my depth on an issue.

1. Assume the person in the call centre wants to help you. Expect them to be trained in courtesy and helpfulness. (Smart Grid have all been polite and articulate young men, or possibly all the same man. I'm imagining Jason from the hotel in Miranda.)

2. Speak to the point. It's hard to do this when you feel frustrated and out of your depth. My list helps me be clear and brief when I don't really understand my own problems.

3. Then wait and listen. If you are confident you explained it clearly as per your list, shut up, don't keep waffling uncertainly. You've handed the problem over, the onus is now on them. If you want to sound SLIGHTLY pushy, ask something like "what can you do about that?"

Over-explaining weakens the complainer, I think. You can sound more assertive if you talk less. When I went to the apple genius bar, I kept it friendly but minimal as well. "Carked it. Probably the hard drive." They ask a question, answer it: "it's empty because I already restored it." "yeah it turns on, but it doesn't show up in iTunes." I managed to avoid filling the silence by going on and on about how I plugged it in and it said connected but it froze mid-sync etc etc, and just sat there letting him run tests. If you feel like the silence is awkward, embrace it, and even think of it as a weapon. Speak to the point, and then engage the silence like an invisible sword.