Monday, September 12, 2011
Possibly THE secret.
Is the secret to contentment giving up? Or at least, being pragmatic, think and act as though you've given up? If you are frustrated that you can't afford real estate or you are unmarried or your church music is uncool, and there is nothing within your power that you can practically do about it, maybe the secret to contentment is just to give up on it? Stop thinking, stop hoping, stop checking the websites and reading the blogs, call an end to all aspiration and count your blessings. Or, is it possible to be content with one thing and still deeply and actively hope for something else? Possibly. Maybe it's the type of hope. Maybe it's what you do with the hope. Maybe you can still hope but still give up at the same time, so the hope doesn't make you miserable.
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Interesting thoughts Jess. I think that in some ways it is necessary to give up on one thing in order to be content with what you have - in that to be content you mustn't be striving for something you don't have. For me some of the contentment issues that come to mind are more children, and bigger house. If I am searching the real estate pages for something bigger and better, yet claiming to be content with my current house, there's something wrong there hey? To be content with the family God has blessed me with means to put aside any thoughts of having more children and to sit content with the kids in my life. In the back of my mind I might hope to have another child one day, but it's not something I actively pursue (for various complex reasons I won't go into here!) but I'm not looking to that hope as the source of future contentment.
ReplyDeleteHave no idea if any of this is useful but there you go! I enjoy reading your thoughts! Love Vanessa
Hi Vanessa!
ReplyDeleteI'm know people say that you can be content and still desire a good thing, but yeah, it's simpler not to try and do two things at once! And it's not stopping trusting God, if you "give up". I like what you said about "not looking to that hope as the source of future contentment"...
"Giving up" sounds a bit fatalistic to me, but I think it is important to distinguish between goals and desires. You should not set goals whose fulfilment relies on other people or factors outside your control. Instead, your goals should focus on being the person God wants you to be. You can still desire things that require the cooperation of others or particular circumstances (and will experience disappointment when they do not come about), but you should not define yourself by them. You should not define yourself by the things you don't have but want to have (house, husband, cool church music), but rather by what you already have in Christ. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Where your focus is is important. Some I think giving up focusing on the things you don't have that are outside your control could be a good thing. If your focus is elsewhere, I think the discontentment will lessen.
ReplyDeleteHello Mr Brendio. Thanks for expanding the idea. Pretty much the gist of what I'm saying, but I like to talk in extremes :) phrases like "don't define yourself" are subtle and abstract and I don't know how to apply it practically; "giving up" is simple to remember when trying to switch focus—'focus' is a helpful way you've described desire, btw. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteNot that it's easy or always do-able, but I think that the secret to contentment is thankfulness. When you start focusing yourself on the things that God has provided (all out of his grace) and stop focusing on the things that you don't have.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think that there will always been a discontentment with this world because we have so much more to look forward to!
Oh good one! Well said, college girl!
ReplyDeleteSophia Russell has done a post on this today. I'll just repeat what I've said there.
ReplyDeleteFor me, contentment is about holding on to Jesus & truly believing that He alone can satisfy.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
When we seek & find our delight in God, He gives us renewed hearts with new desires so that the pursuit of contentment is no longer a chore, but something we do with joy. It will not longer be about 'giving up', but about pursuing deep relationship with God.
Yeah, I reckon the distinction between goals & desires is important. Work for your goals (which are within your control); pray for your desires (which aren't in your control, & God may or may not grant).
ReplyDeleteI don't think the secret of contentment is giving up - this sounds kinda Buddhist to me (ie. avoid suffering by eliminating all desire)... Some good desires will never be fulfilled until the new creation. The secret of contentment in Philippians seems to be about knowing Christ – so seeing all of life through this lens.
Thanks for posting!
SJ (long time reader & enjoyer of your blog)
For me, acceptance is a big thing. Accepting the situation, acknowledging the frustrations, helps me with the struggling.
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ReplyDeleteElsie: I agree. It's not about denial - acknowledging the situation & the feelings is definitely important.
ReplyDeleteIn part, I reckon, yes. I have long been a practitioner of "make like you don't care"
ReplyDeleteI do things because I want to, not because I have to, I go out with people because I want to, not because I am actively seeking a long term partner. But if all of it ended tomorrow...I really couldn't give a rats, move on.
But the main thing is, while you may put yourself above caring, do not sit back and hope for the man of your dreams to knock on your door.
I have just been through nearly all of your posts on your dating situations (especially Elsie's) and the fact that the right one just hasn't come along yet...
They aren't just going to drop into your lap, praying on it and waiting for God to bring the right man into your life won't work, you need to be active about this. God gave us free will, he's not going to do it for you.
As a player of the various Sims titles I see him much like the overseer watching, occasionally intervening but mostly just watching how things unfold.
As Christians who are waiting for marriage (for sex), you two are in the minority now, so most of the people you will come across in day to day life will not be what you're looking for. You need to be proactive about what you want in life...God isn't going to do it for you, He'll be there to catch you if you fall, but He won't do the hard yards, that's up to you.