Self-care on a budget

We are good at giving
I suspect that many of us are good at giving of ourselves. For those of us who are Christians, we do this because we love Jesus, we follow his example and give of ourselves to church, to work, friends and family. We also give because we're highly capable people, and we want to use our God-given abilities to make Jesus known. However, I also suspect some of us aren't very good at self-care. We aren't good at looking after ourselves so that we don't burn out, and so that we can continue giving.

Why aren't we good at self-care?
For me it's either because I find it hard to say no or at the time I agreed to something, I couldn't forsee how much it would cost me (and I don't mean in the financial sense). We feel guilty when we say no because it feels selfish. But we need to remember: we are human. We may be highly capable in our minds, but our capability is limited. We can only give so much before we are drained and unable to give.

So how can we look after ourselves (and on a budget too!)?
Note this is written from a female perspective, so men, apply the principles accordingly. I do make some assumptions about women here, so apologies if these generalisations don't apply to you. This is not a definitive guide, but just some thoughts and suggestions.

Block out time for yourself
Make a time for yourself, non-negotiable. It is a non-moveable appointment in your diary. You've got an appointment with yourself and it is important. I don't care if there's some great Christian event on, you say no (unless that event gives back to you. If you're the type of person who finds lots of people and big events draining, just say no). You say no to everything anyone asks of you during this time. The one good skill I learnt while being a ministry trainee was saying no to Christian things on my day off. Since it was my day off, I felt empowered to say no.

You don't need to make yourself available to people 100% of the time to serve them. That's why you say no to things that clash with your me-time. Even Jesus had alone time, where he sought out desolate places to pray. [There is another incident where Jesus withdraws to a desolate place after hearing the news of John the Baptist's death, presumably to grieve.]

Look good
There's a link between looking good and feeling good. I don't know why, but it's there. There's even a cosmetics industry initiative called Look Good...Feel Better which helps female cancer patients deal with the appearance side of things as they undergo treatment.

But that sounds so shallow...almost anti-Christian!
Firstly, I want to say, I absolutely affirm the following truths:

• Our self-worth is found in Jesus, not in beauty or looking good. God considers us precious enough that he would send his beloved son to die a criminal's death on the cross, so that we might be right with him (and not for us only, but for his own glory).

• Beauty is fleeting and Christian women are to be known for their good deeds, not good looks.

However, I still believe taking care of your appearance has a role in self-care. When you are taking care of your appearance, you are taking care of yourself. Even in Jesus' instructions for fasting involves taking care of one's appearance. I understand in that example it is to counteract against those who make a big obvious show that they are fasting, but the point is there: it is not wrong or sinful to do something about your appearance or to care about your appearance.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not talking about having plastic surgery or a full on makeover (although in some situations either may be warranted). I'm talking about little things that make a big difference. This is how I want to suggest we take care of ourselves by looking good. It will vary from person to person. The important thing is to enjoy the process as well.

Do your hair
Do whatever makes your hair look and feel great. It might be as simple as washing it, or straightening it or putting curls in it.

I'll be the first to admit I find washing hair, especially long hair, a hassle. It takes time, and you have to collect hair at the end of your shower. But I love the feeling of clean, freshly washed hair. Nothing beats it. And I always receive the most compliments for my hair when it's been freshly washed. Take the time to do your hair, to make it look pretty.

If you're going to wash your hair, you may as well have a shower. Hot water may not be great for your skin (it's too drying), but a warm shower feels great in winter.

If you're going to have a shower you might as well do your whole skin care routine, whether it be shaving, tweezing, waxing, scrubbing, moisturing, whatever it is. Do it. Do your nails as well if that's your thing.

Jess G says,

I realised last year that personal grooming was a discipline. Being a slob isn't actually a symbol of godliness, it just looks like laziness. Presenting yourself well takes effort, and it can be more a matter of discipline than vanity. So I started straightening my hair because it was quick and effective. You're right that hair is a big difference.

Remember, you're doing your hair for you.

Your prettiest outfit
Put your nicest underwear on. Even if you're the only one who sees it. You know you're wearing it, that's the important thing. Put on your most favourite or prettiest outfit. I don't care if it's a little more dressier than usual. Just put it on. Take care as you put it on. Enjoy it.

Brighten up your face
Most women own some form of make up. Put on a bit of lippie or try that new eyeshadow colour you've got sitting there, waiting for a special occasion. That special occasion is now. While you're at it, lightly spray on your favourite perfume. Use it while it still smells good.

If you're on a really tight budget and have no make up, visit a makeup tester counter, such as at The Body Shop, Priceline or even a department store.

Make sure you put some SPF 15+ because you are going to get some...


Sunshine!

Sunshine on my window
Makes me happy
Like I should be

If Spiderbait sang it, it must be true right?

Get out there, with your gorgeous hair and outfit and get some sunshine.

Here's what I might do to get my sunshine: walk to the library, borrow some mags that I will enjoy reading (be it a health and fitness one, or music, or home organisation), find a sunny spot at a nearby cafe and enjoy a hot drink in the winter sun.

This would suit me because I like my own company and sometimes, it's too much effort organising doing something with someone. But if you're organised, you could go on a...


Self-care date
Alternatively, go on a self-care date with a friend. A friend whom you don't find draining, but who re-energises you, and gives back to you. Make a date with a friend where you agree to doll-up and do something fun and nice. Maybe it's going to the movies, or having a picnic in the Botanic Gardens. Perhaps jelssie should organise a girls' day out on town where we do doll up and do something fun, like have high tea at a classy hotel? Or a picnic in the gardens? Visit an art gallery?

Look after yourselves people because you're worth it!