Monday, November 9, 2009

Skin Hunger

aka touch deprivation. I can go for months without touching another human being or animal. I get hugs when I visit my family, and sometimes I shake hands with people when I meet them, but girls don't handshake much (it's a contentious issue, the female handshake). I was surprised yesterday, when I was helping with creche, how much I wanted to grab the children and cuddle them. I'm not a weirdo. But it was a strange urge, not based on how much I love babies because I'm not baby-crazy. So I googled it, and found out that it is Skin Hunger.

Different cultures have different levels of touchy feely. Our culture has no middle ground, I think. It's sexual, or nothing. There are no accepted friendly intimacies. We don't kiss on the cheek for hello or good bye, we don't link arms when we walk with someone. Modern dancing is now a bunch of individuals in pairs and groups, not pairs embracing or groups of people holding hands.

Maybe we shouldn't mock the 'hug hello', or the side hug? Maybe I should become a hug lady? Or should I just grab babies and pat strange dogs? Or, because Jane Austen has the answer for everything, maybe we should bring back regency manners. All that lovely formalised hand-holding in and out of carriages, proper dance steps, walking along arm in arm...
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11 comments:

  1. becNovember 9, 2009 at 5:57 PM

    I know what you mean - I think I got that a lot when I lived on my own. One of the bonuses of living with my mum, I get lots of hugs!

    And I'm very much a hug hello/goodbye type person. But some people really aren't, only you don't know that until you go to hug them hello/goodbye and they stiffen or kind of hold their arms rigidly so you can't hug them properly and it ends up all awkward.

    But that's not going to stop me from trying, damnit!

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  2. AnonymousNovember 9, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    I think that's part of the reason why I like babies and little kids - they're so cuddly.

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  3. /Karen/November 9, 2009 at 6:37 PM

    I offer you my hugging services!

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  4. GeorginaNovember 9, 2009 at 9:56 PM

    I shake a lot of hands at work - perhaps it depends on where you work? Shook 2 pairs today.

    PS I love hugs from all of you too...

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  5. JessicaNovember 11, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    I feel weird about asking for hugs when I need them!

    I think I do the hug greeting when I am seeing someone I don't much see, so I think I shall extend it to other people.

    I should conduct a random hugging experiment, to establish who the natural huggers are.

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  6. appleNovember 12, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    I used to hug and give a kiss on the cheek to greet my friends all the time. But when I became a Christian it was just all too awkward and weird so I stopped, and have now lost it and have also become awkward an weird because I get shocked when people are actually up for some hugging action.

    I have recently discovered the 5 love languages and touch is mine. It was really good to get a massage, I think that we don't realise just how nice it feels to be touched. And not in a sexual kind of way.

    Yes, adults need cuddles too. Although some people really don't like the touching. Also, that some people we just don't want to hug.

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  7. JessicaNovember 12, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    1 Thess 5:26 - Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.

    But truly there are people I do NOT want to kiss.

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  8. AnonymousNovember 13, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    You can get a decent massage at a great price at the Australasian College of Natural Therapies Student clinic. I've been there once.

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  9. Jess JosephNovember 13, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    I'm generally not a huggy type of person. But sometimes I just hug at the spur of the moment.

    Don't mind other people initiating though. I just seldom do.

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  10. Wings @ storywings.blogspot.comNovember 19, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    that makes sense...i went from getting bear hugs everyday...to nothing...its a shock to the system...my skin tingles now...need to be hugged :(

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  11. JessicaNovember 19, 2009 at 5:51 PM

    Yeah it's a weird feeling. Really not good.

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