In general, your odds at marrying will decrease in your 30s. That is an interesting issue for another post, maybe in five years time. So, if you want to get married, don't muck around.
I totally understand that women are intimidating. Be prepared to be rejected. Women feel bad about this, and we really do appreciate being asked, but I suspect there are a lot of "no"s out there. Do yourself a favour and maximise your chances of success.
- Be sure of what you are doing with your life. Have a plan. Demonstrate that you are responsible and proactive.
- Do some grooming. Maybe get a haircut that isn't described with a number or makes a buzzing sound.
- Let your sister take you shopping.
- Be thoughtful and kind to others. To everyone.
- Demonstrate gentlemanly manners. It is amazing how far "ladies first" will get you. Also if you have a car, offer lifts. And so on. Treat women with respect as the weaker vessel. (You don't want to marry a feminist anyway.)
- Be on a gender-integrated ministry team. Music team, or a mission, or even just a bible study.
Now, most importantly, look out for indications of interest. Girls who are keen to be in your company, who laugh in your conversations. Or are excited to have something in common with you ("oh, I love Dune too!"). If you pursue a girl who hasn't been speculating about you, she might say "no" out of surprise and caution. So try and read the signs.
I think that's all I have. Take it from there.
Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteFor the record, the process to me getting married was becoming friends with Ben, getting to know him heaps well, figuring out how much I liked him (and vice versa), us talking about whether or not we could marry each other (and whether we were too young like everyone around us was saying), and then gettin engaged.
Well, that's the expurgated version! ;P
I love the line 'Do not underestimate how much girls notice.' It's so true! If I like someone, I'll make an effort to remember what he tells me. Photographic memory comes naturally.
ReplyDeleteI don't think men are great at looking out for indications of interest. Can be frustrating! Sometimes they just need a nudge in the right direction, i.e. yours. And as much as men complain that they get turned down a lot, I'm sure they'd turn down women who are interested in them by playing dumb. It's just done more subtlely than a striaght 'no'.
Anyways, that's just my two cents worth. :)
Excellent comments girls, thanks!
ReplyDelete