Obsessed with lemongrass.

I really want to grow lemongrass. This is the take-home application from my holiday… I really like tea made from ginger and lemongrass.

http://www.growingherbsforbeginners.com/how-to-grow-lemon-grass/

And mint.

I think these herbs are pretty hardy/weedy, so I could probably grow them in pots in my own kitchen which hasn't got ideal gardening conditions, and then I could have my own supply of fresh tea.

Why delayed gratification works better than denial when not snacking.

Denial:

I want the ice cream.

No.

But I want it.

No.

It's in the freezer. I need to defrost the freezer soon. I should eat the ice cream.

No.

But when? If not now, when?

I don't know.

I'm going to have to eat it eventually, I might as well eat it now.

Good point. Might as well.

(Evil smile).


Delayed gratification:

I want the chocolate.

Wait until lunch time. That's only two hours.

OK.


Now to the untrained eye it looks like both outcomes ultimately end in eating the food. But I think delayed gratification does cut the snacking because if I didn't delay eating the chocolate I would probably eat chocolate both then and AGAIN at lunchtime.

Big Brother and love.

I found myself watching Big Brother nominations last night. I don't know why. The housemates have a very TV understanding of love. They nominate someone because they don't get on with them or they are jealous of their popularity, and say "I love her, but she acts one way to some people and another way to other people. She exploits her emotions. But I really love her!" "I love him, but he's such a manipulator." "I love them, but they are too nice." Love was literally just lip service, the preface for nastyness, like saying "No offence but". And then I beheld all the fake horror and sympathy when the evictees were named. Well, der, you all just nominated them like 30 minutes ago. The only one I liked was someone who nominated some girls for not doing their cleaning. Yeah, that's what evictions are ACTUALLY about in the REAL world. Not "love".

Why must they be pink?

I have four Japanese BB creams (two of them are the same brand). Why must the packaging be pink? What is it with the Japanese and pink packaging for BB creams?

Homeschooling.

I heard the end of a panel discussion on the ABC two nights ago. It seemed pretty good. A pro-con chat with talkback, relevant to the Australian context. I was home schooled, but I'm not great at summing up a pithy answer when people ask me what it was like and would I home school my hypothetical kids. If you wonder about home schooling, you can listen.

http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/local/nightlife/home_schoo_m2156963.mp3

If that link didn't work it's here. http://www.abc.net.au/nightlife/podcast.htm

Also an article George found recently, http://www.salon.com/2013/08/26/school_is_a_prison_and_damaging_our_kids/, which seems to be in favour of self-directed learning.

Horses for courses. Whatever that means.

One dessert a week rule

Jess loves rules and habits. I think habits are great, and rules are only good if they serve you in achieving goals (rather make you want to do the thing you're not supposed to).

I have a friend who lives at college and gets fed three meals a day plus snacks and dessert. He told me about his "one dessert a week" rule, to keep his diet healthy. I think this is great rule, especially for me. Even though I don't live at college, I do eat out a lot and I do like dessert. So this is a rule I'd be happy to implement. But often, there are treats and cakes at work, and some of those things are equivalent to dessert, so hmmoooooooo.

An alternative dessert rule is: all desserts must be shared, so that helps with spreading the richness of dessert.

Hats.

Further to my sunscreen post... hats are excellent sun protection. No chemicals or nano-particles or products to remember to reapply on your face. Keep the sun/glare out of your eyes as well. Yes, I know, hat hair. But still, the advantages are considerable.

Here is a beautiful lady dressed for the Australian sun this week. Broad brimmed hat. She isn't worried about hat hair, obviously.

Personally I find hat-wearing easiest when it's a soft scrunchable hat that I can carry around in a bag. They don't look as nice as a what Angelina wears, but the convenience means I'm more likely to have it with me for the day and therefore wear it when I'm out in the sun, but I can take it off and stuff it in my bag when I'm on the bus or indoors. The parasol, as we have mentioned before, is an excellent way to prevent hat hair sans sunscreen, but it's just not convenient.

New acronym

I have a new acronym for life: NMP i.e. Not My Problem. It's not about not caring, but putting boundaries in life and realising that some problems are not yours to solve or fix. If I start to overthink things or get too involved, I remind myself: NMP.

The easy habit.

The most important thing about setting up a good habit isn't how wonderful the activity is, the wonderful exercise machine you're going to use for an hour a day. It is how easy it is. So the ideal exercise to do every day might be a 10km jog or something hardcore. The realistic exercise to do every day is probably something heaps less. You really want the bare minimum as your new habit, like 15 minutes of yoga before you have a shower (plug for the yoga studio app). Or 15 minutes walk around the block after dinner. Cos you can probably manage that, whereas 45 minutes of hard sweat is something you'll find an excuse to avoid, and the habit will die.

The other thing you might notice I've done there is ATTACH the habit you WANT to the habit you ALREADY have. So you don't have a shower until you've done yoga. The shower habit is already strong, you're just adding a step. It's only 15 minutes of yoga so it's not that hard to manage, and it isn't so much exercise as "prelude to a shower".

Habit's I've got are, whenever I need to wash my hair, I do Jillian first. Hair is half dirty so I might as well get a sweaty workout done and get value out of the hair-washing, and then be all clean for a couple of days. Also, with bible reading, I now use the Daily Reading Bible, which takes about 10 minutes so it's not hard, I find the questions really good, and I do it at lunch time because I need a break from screens and noise anyway. I used to scoff a bit at the idea of short devotionals when I could just read a chunk from the bible, but there is psychologically an advantage in having a short convenient reading.

The important thing is, sustaining it. When you start doing something, imagine yourself doing it for the rest of your life. Yeah, that's hard. So 10-15 minutes every day for the rest of your life works out heaps better than 45 minutes for two weeks.

The pessimist bachelorette: be prepared.

Yes, I'm watching The Bachelor, and I hate it, but I enjoy the shared experience of watching a TV show at the same time as other people and discussing it. That doesn't happen so much these day. I can't watch the trendy shows cos they aren't on free to air. I'm really enjoying Upper Middle Bogan and It's a Date, but I only know one person watching them. So segue The Bachelor into my singleness post. The thing in common is the odds of getting married, approx 25 to 1. Actually maybe those girls aren't so stupid after all because an exactly 1 in 25 chance of marriage to a handsome nice guy with a job is possibly better odds than in the real world.

Maybe I've always been a pessimist, or maybe I take a logical view of romantic things, but I've always prepared myself for singleness. I never assumed that I'd get married. I sort of hope I do, and I've generally admitted a slim chance, but I've made plans for my life based on the assumption of singleness. Apparently some girls (on The Bachelor and in cliche) plan their wedding in detail from girlhood. It's not that unusual to look around and all the adults you know are married so it's fair to assume you'll also get married, I know women like that, and maybe also they were more optimistic people than me, or they were more surrounded by potential husbands than I ever have been. I've had no boyfriends, and a number of dates I can count on one hand. Did I say hand? That's being generous. In these circumstances, assuming singleness is natural. But I'm possibly also just a gloomy pessimist. True, most people get married, but why ASSUME something you can't PLAN? You can't PLAN to meet someone at age 19 and marry at age 22 and have your first baby at 26, so what good is it to assume?

But even so, even if you're a really cute dainty fun girl surrounded by sensible yet amusing young men who ask you out, I think it's worth assuming singleness. Because you really don't know what is in your future, so make sure you're a well-rounded person with life skills and a savings account and a relationship with God. And then if you DO perchance get married, you'll have a bit more to bring to the relationship than your dream wedding. But if you don't, you'll be fine, and hopefully a little less disappointed. Things have worked out exactly as I expected so far.

Speaking of pessimism, on the weekend I mentioned that I assume singleness to some women from my church, and one of the married girls came up to me and said that she used to as well. Even when she was engaged she was pessimistic enough to keep her hopes checked a little bit in case her fiance changed his mind or died. So its probably a personality thing or an anxiety thing, as much as a wisdom thing. And they say that optimists are more likely to get what they want out of life. So don't listen to me! I shall assume I will have a four-poster bed one day.

Breathing through nose.

I am now an OK nose-breather. It was a big adjustment, it was hard to deprive myself of oxygen at first, and I can't do it at night, but I've got days under control and my hanky/tissue use has dropped 80%. I've been breathing through my nose all day, including when I walked to work and haven't used a single tissue, which is pretty unheard of, I'm famous for my nose-blowing at work. So if you are a sniffly person, it's worth trying.

Jane Eyre quote for resisting temptation.

There is baking in the office today. Fresh cinnamon scrolls and herman sourdough rolls. Temptation to snack! normally I would pounce. But now I have to wait until lunchtime. I am reminded of the quote from Jane Eyre that Emma Thornett used in her singleness Briefing article.

“Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation; they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? … Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by; there I plant my foot.”

There you go.

Why I don't need Twitter.

I have Elsie, my own private Twitter account. Any time a tiny thought pops in my head and I want to tell someone, I usually send it to Elsie.

To: Elsie
Subject: nails

I painted my nails pearly pink.  I normally like it but meh. It's highlighting all my xma damage bumps. I need to go back to a strong colour before engage.

To: Jess
Re: nails

LOL, I love this about you. That's how I think about lipstick. But at least you can wear a strong nail colour at Engage - a strong lip colour is just a bit woah for Engage.

To: Elsie
Subject: Re: nails

That's why I like emailing you! Obsessive details are normal to you. Actually I think I'll take my stuff up there and do them on Saturday. I'll have more time.

What an insight into the daily unblogged life of Jelssie. Twitter isn't really missing out on anything.

Voting.

I'm a swinging voter. I've swung about 4 times since the election started. And I'm in a marginal seat now so it actually matters! Woohoo!

I always decide on the day, and then walk in and realise there are TWO pieces of paper darnit, the little easy one I just decided and the big other confusing one that I always fluff. This time, however, I have gone to belowtheline.org.au like a nerd and cleared up that big confusing sheet. I've made that decision in advance for the first time EVER! The little groups are very interesting. I feel so responsible.

Sunscreen for summer.

I have to rave about fruitybeauty. Elsie put me onto it. This is a useful and amusing beauty blog. Now, I am not a high-maintenance beauty person. I have makeup, I wear it occasionally, but on the beauty spectrum I'm pretty much down the end that wears lip balm, sunscreen and moisturiser, washes hair every second or third day, and that's about it. So fruitybeauty is for me. She talks about products like BB cream and foundation, which doesn't go over my head, but she spends as much time talking about actually useful things like what makes a good lip balm and how to get maximum days out of washing your hair. These things have changed my life. Also, by happy coincidence I'm pretty much the same hair type as her and have the same skin problems, so following her rules actually works for me and has made my life easier. And it is great to hear someone talk about pigmentation. Oh how I hate pigmentation.

I'm plugging this because we're going into summer and she's written a helpful post on sunscreen. I think sunscreen and moisturiser are the only anti-aging products that work. Especially sunscreen. This is a true fact. So I reckon it's worth spending money on a sunscreen that works and which doesn't feel gross on your face so that you wear it every day. Also, your face is a fairly small surface area so a small bottle will last a long long time.

Why I like my rules.

Rules make life easier. If I have rules, I don't have to spend as much brainpower evaluating every situation. Cos decisions are hard. Having a rule for a situation doesn't mean that I can never vary my behaviour, but I have a default I stick to.

So I have a rule that I never buy lunch at work. I sometimes buy lunch, when I eat with my colleagues, or there is something new to try, but it's pretty rare. My default is to bring lunch.

And I have a "bedtime". And when it's about that time I go to bed. I don't go to bed when I've finished watching TV, or when I feel tired, or any other arbitrary thing, a different time each night and a specific decision each night. My default is, bedtime. No discipline or thought required.

So that's how I see rules. I'm free to do what I want, eat what I want, go to bed what I want, but all that choice is exhausting. A good habit is a huge relief. And rules help me prop my behaviour until good habits are set.

Update: Stopping Snacking.

I'm still obsessed with this.

So basically I'm eating the food I normally eat, but I've shifted it to mealtimes only. Which doesn't sound that radical, cos still eating M&Ms is still being unhealthy. It's not really a "diet", as such. Which is fine, I'm not looking for a "diet", I want to challenge my eating habits. So M&Ms at lunchtime. However. Something happens when you eat snack foods only with your meals instead of when you get bored/hungry at 9.30 am. The meal has already filled you up, so you don't eat M&Ms like a pig who has just been given a trough full of M&Ms. You just eat a dainty number, and then go and clean your teeth and that's it.

Last Monday, first official day, was a little unsuccessful, because after I scooted to work I didn't eat enough for lunch, which meant I was calorie deficient and I got seriously hungry in mid afternoon, so I ate almonds. Cos the aim isn't to starve in between meals. The next day I counted calories to make sure I ate enough for lunch. I haven't had hunger problems at all today. My body is used to it.

I've switched boredom eating into boredom drinking. Like tea. I also got Miso soup sachets. Technically probably a food, but I think of it as salty tea.

Anyway, it's been really good. I prefer not-snacking to snacking. I snacked heavily on the weekend and I'm glad to be back at work in no-snack land.

Envelope recycling.

Work had a pile of C5 envelopes to get rid of. I took them and thought I'd spend a day thinking about what I could use them for. If nothing comes to mind, I'll bin them. I have thought of something! Sandwich bags. Paper sandwich bags. Instead of gladwrap. I have to trial one.

Subject: Dishwasher announcement!

(This is an email I sent to some of my colleagues today. I feel so much better after making this decision. So many annoyances are now outside of my area of responsibility!)


Hello! Relax, this is not a rant, you can all go on using the dishwasher as you were before.

I am no longer going to use the dishwasher. I will not

1) put things in the dishwasher,
2) turn the dishwasher on,
3) empty the dishwasher, or
4) handwash everything the dishwasher didn't clean (which is now happening every day).

I am going to go back to the pre-dishwasher days and I will wash and dry my own cup and plate and put them away.

Just letting you all know. Dishwasher Club no longer includes me. As you were.

Jess


(I really don't like the dishwasher. I don't like any part of it. Grovelling inside it amongst the stinky old coffee cups, unpacking it, trying to solve the mystery of why things come out completely dirty. It constantly undermines my tranquility and godliness. And then I realised that I don't HAVE to use it. Why is the obvious solution sometimes the hardest to see?)

Bank accounts.

So I'm going to be supremely boring and talk about banking. Actually, money is one of my favourite topics, I'm just shy.

Due to my own triplicate stupidity* earlier this year I went a week without any access to my money and then another 3 weeks without a PIN for cash withdrawals. That was a really inconvenient month. I cancel my card about every 18 months and during that time I'm always kicking myself for only having one accessible bank account, because when that's unaccessible I'm totally stuck. And then I forget about it. I just hate having more than 3 cards in my wallet—ID, Visa, medicare.

Last week one of the Spotify ads for ING finally sunk in. You get 5% back on all paywave transactions <$100 for 6 months. I use paywave! I love it. So it sounds like easy money to me. That's finally the incentive I needed to open another bank account.

I've also overcome my hatred of cards and signed up for Flybuys. This is a big ideological breakdown for me. Of all cards, loyalty cards like this annoy me the most. They track your spending and clog your wallet. But I'm going to try and make money out of it. We'll see.

Here is my new card. I opened the account on Friday and it came on Wednesday and I used it at the chemist today.

Look! I've cut the barcode off my temporary paper flybuys card and taped it to the back of my new card. So I don't have THAT piece of plastic in my wallet!

* (First stupid thing: I like to keep my wallet slim, and minimise the number of cards I have, so I only have one card to access money. Second stupid thing: I stuck my only card into an ATM one night and it didn't suck in, so instead of taking a step to the left and trying the other ATM, I kept pushing my card in, and then when it was all the way inside but nothing was happening on the screen I got my drivers license out and stuck that in the crack to give it an extra deep poke. That ATM broke. I had to cancel the card. And due to the first stupid thing I had zero access to my money. Third stupid thing, I then destroyed my new PIN before I memorised it accurately. That cost $10 for a replacement PIN and another new card.)