Monday, August 15, 2011

Cultivating self-love

I've been thinking about how to cultivate self-love. Mind you, I don't mean narcissism. Rather, I mean a healthy respect and love for one's self that is part of good mental health.

I realised that I had been thinking about it the wrong way. I was thinking, "How can I increase feelings of love towards myself? How can I feel better? How can I like myself more?"

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) says you can't control your feelings. When you try to control your feelings, it can cause a lot of internal struggles and distress. Instead, you can control your actions. This reminded me of how the Bible describes love; that it is action-based.

My theory is: to cultivate self-love, you need to take actions of love towards yourself. It is essentially self-care. Filling up your well. So you might go to bed early every night this week. Meditate. Sing. Pray. Confess. Enjoy your family and friends. Get your body moving. Watch a clip of early 90s HK pop music (I would like to point out that this song was revolutionary when it first came out).

Self-love also involves being compassionate, patient and kind towards yourself. It means turning down the volume on the harsh, inner critic. Accepting your imperfections and limitations.

Your thoughts on self-love?

2 comments:

  1. Elsie, this is something that's very relevant with one I'm studying atm. My essay last semester was what it means to 'Love your neighbour as yourself' & I touched on what it means to love yourself. Loving yourself helps you to love others. I saw that verse in a different light after that. Don't know if you'd be interested in reading it. :)

    "We love because He first loved us" I think is also true for loving ourselves.

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  2. Thanks JJ, never thought of that verse that way before! I'd love to read your essay :)

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