A lesson on pain and change

My tummy has been giving me extreme grief of late. It's turned temperamental quite suddenly. I used to eat whatever I liked, including junk, oily/fried and spicy food, and not suffer from too many consequences (except for weight gain). Now my tummy is so sensitive that I will be in a world of pain for hours after if I eat certain foods. I often wake up in the middle of the night because of the pain (hence this 3am post while I wait for the painkillers to kick in).

You'd think after a couple of times, I'd learn to steer clear of certain foods to avoid the crippling pain. But no, I keep on making the same mistakes. My new strategy now, is to eat like a lady: super small portions, eat more frequently, eat very slowly, take small bites and avoid pain-inducing food (e.g. junk, oily/fried, spicy). But it's really hard to do if you've been used to eating like a piggy: eating whatever and whenever you want, eating bigger portions and wolfing down your food.

Some things are easy for me to avoid (e.g. alcohol and coffee), and I'm proud of myself for avoiding chilli (even though I miss it terribly), but others are plain hard.

Instead of berating myself each time I stuff up, I remind myself that change is hard, I'm only human and I am getting better at working out which foods make my tummy happy and which ones make it churn eight hours later. This is practising self-compassion; one of my current life lessons.

The people who really suffer are my colleagues and close friends because I am constantly whinging about the pain and asking them to pray for me.

I am also enlisting their help in another way. For example, on Friday, I will have a yum cha lunch with colleagues. I have asked a particular one to sit next to me, and I will only eat food she puts in my bowl (she's experienced with tummy troubles!). I've also asked them to help me say no, to say no to me, and remind me of the consequences.

I've been very thankful for the support of others during this tummy trouble time.