I had a revelation yesterday. I have been living as if my life's primary goal is to find a marriage partner, settle down and have kids (this may have been obvious to some of you, but I was blind to it).
What is the effect of this? It means finding a marriage partner takes up a lot of your thoughts, prayers and conversations. It means questioning God, "Where is my husband? Where are my kids? Where is my house in the 'burbs?" and doubting yourself, "Why haven't I settled down yet? Aren't I good enough for anyone? What's wrong with me?"
What (or who) brought about the revelation? Well, God, obviously, but as I've reflected on my life throughout the year, I've been continually thankful for my current life situation. Life is good. Hard at times, but good. I can clearly see that he's given me opportunities that I can take only because of my current season in life: single and unburdened by marriage, kids and mortgage.
Secondly, we studied 1 Corinthians 7 in Bible study last week. Some of you may feel like you know this passage inside out, and you've done it to death. When we went around summarising what we thought the main gist of the passage was, I said, "If you're married, stay married. If you're single, stay single, but you're free to marry. Live as God's called you." It only struck me yesterday that the practical application for me is that my primary goal is no longer "find a marriage partner" but "live as God has called you". Once I realised that, I felt incredibly liberated.
It's liberating because the issue of marriage doesn't have to dominate my thoughts, prayers and conversations anymore. I don't have to worry about whether God has or hasn't got marriage in store for me or whether I'm an unmarriable nutter. It decreases the attractiveness of dating non-Christians considerably. But the greatest liberty is being freed from WRONG thinking. It is a beautiful feeling and state of being.
Sure, I'll continue to pray for me and friends regarding marriage (if it be his will) and at times I may be frustrated by my singleness and I may eventually try internet dating, but earthly marriage is not my life goal. It is neither here nor there. I am free to marry or stay single. Both are good options in God's eyes. Just live as God has called you, whatever circumstance you are in.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
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What a great revelation! I'm encouraged God has made that clear to you. :)
ReplyDeleteThe gospel frees us from being slaves to anything other than Jesus. We can trust that God has the best plans for us & it's so liberating because we don't have to worry anymore.
One of thes best books on singleness is 'Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?' by Carolyn McCulley. Don't be put offby the title. It's practical & biblical & slightly different to others I've read. It changed my views considerably. Why don't you find time to read it now you're on holidays?