Why The Bachelor.

 I don't like this show much but I love a shared TV experience, and this has mass appeal.

Why you might want to go on the Bachelor.

You are obsessed with roses. That's normal in this context.

To score some free tourism. That's basically what the show is, it's Sydney Weekender for girls.

To wear clothes that aren't yours and have your hair done by a professional, every time you go to a farm or drink wine. That's a real perk.

To make some BFFs. Most of the women seem really nice.

Why you shouldn't go on the Bachelor.

To find love. How can you find love in an environment where everyone is dressed in clothes that aren't theirs, doing tourism activities they never normally do, and basically being fake TV people? How can you find a genuine person? You might be impressed that you go on a date and there are 200 candles, but he didn't light those candles, a TV crew did. None of the romantic gestures are real, they're all constructed. Let alone the fact that you "make a connection" on your date and then he goes and "makes a connection" with another girl the next week.

You have pride.

Why I wore a satay-stained cardigan.

A few months ago I had dinner at Mamuk, which does really nice satay. So I took the leftover sauce home, because I don't like to queue for food very often. It must have leaked into my bag because my cardigan ended up with brown patches in weird places. It didn't wash out, and napisan itself didn't get rid of it completely. But I've had the cardigan for a lot of years. It was $4 from an op shop. It still fits. It's synthetic and old, but in a simple style… a lot of cardigans these days are weird, like they are cropped or something. It's hard to find a decent cardigan, and believe me I am looking. Anyway, the point is, I needed time to let go of the cardigan somehow, so I put it back in the drawer to delay the decision. And yesterday, not able to find one of my newer nicer cardigans in the rush to work, I put it on. There are no mirrors in my house except the face ones. To see an outfit, you have to stand on a chair and jump. I find out what I look like when I walk into the elevator at work. And that's basically why. It was a shame, really, because I was otherwise nicely dressed and well-coordinated in my favourite frock.

Form fear.

I kind of like filling out forms, if I get to pronounce my opinions on something. But I find those important government forms with a box for each letter slightly stressful. First, find an approved pen. Then, when I go to fill my name in, I start merrily writing "JESSICA" in the approved capital letters, but then realise I should be writing my family name first, and my other names on the next line. That's the first peril. Then my address. I have a slashy address, ie, 1/2. Do I put a slash in a box? What if it looks like a crooked 1? Then, if I survive that dilemma, I still have many other opportunities to make a mistake and waste precious boxes. This week I was helping a friend with a passport application and I wrote my work phone number wrong, twice. Even after I noticed it was wrong on one line, I wrote it wrong differently in another part of the form. It was the stress.

No smartphone...yet

Jess and I do not own smartphones. We just use your run of the mill old-school Nokia phones. On prepaid. I've had mine since Feb/Mar 2008.

I'm not against smartphones. They're great devices: I'd enjoy having a camera phone and being able to share images from my day. They're handy and fun. I'm sure one day, I'll get around to owning one. If someone gave me a smartphone, or if I found a suitable plan, I'd probably jump ship immediately. However, I'm not getting one for the time being, and here are the reasons why.

• Cost: it's hard to find a smartphone on a good value plan. Call rates will always be more expensive than my cheap, cheap prepaid rate. That's all I essentially need my phone to do: make and receive calls and texts. Anything else is a bonus. Also, plans package the illusion of giving you lots of calls, but the call rates are inevitably significantly more expensive. This mobile and data phone plan looks good though, I just need a smartphone to go with it.

• Commitment: I really dislike the idea of being locked into a two year contract, because two years is a long time for technology and over that time, prices will drop and even better deals will come out. I dislike the idea of being tied to a carrier at a paticular price rate. I want the freedom to move to a better service provider. I know if you take that argument to the nth degree, it'd mean you'd never buy technology, but I just feel at this point in time, it's not worth making the switch. Even worse if they lock the handset to the network. My other option is buying a handset outright, which is $460+ if you're looking to buy a Samsung or iPhone, and I don't want to pay that much right now.

• Fragility: I have seen so many cracked smartphone screens. Every time I've dropped my Nokia, I've been able to put it back together again, no problems.

• Time: this one is related to the cost one. Doing your research (e.g. finding a good value plan, picking a model etc) is time and energy consuming and I can't be bothered. 

• Charging time: I only charge my phone once or twice a week. People at work charge their phones everyday at work because it otherwise wouldn't last the day. That would be a small annoyance, having to carry a charger with you everywhere you go, charging whenever you get the chance.

• Engagment: knowing what I'm like, I reckon I would spend too much time on my phone surfing the net and checking social media. Instead of engaging with the world I'm presently in, I would just spend time playing with my phone. One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing people over-engage with their phone, rather than with people around them.

• Smart phones are big. I know, I know, I know by nature they have to be, due to their functionality, but hey, they're still big. 

• iPod touch: I have an iPod touch and it fills in the smartphone gaps, somewhat. Nowhere near as convenient or as advanced as an iPhone, but it fills in the gaps.

• And the final reason, to show you the extent of my paranoia: no-one's ever gonna mug me for my Nokia :)

Food bloggers

I frequent Sydney food blogs when I'm super-bored, but the question must be asked: what is it with Sydney food bloggers? Why are most of them Asian and female? I know I'm not the first person to make this observation, but I need a theory peeps!

(Oh look, here's an American-Asian's take on it.)

The demise of the toilet door

Has anyone noticed that when you go to use the restroom/washroom/toilet at shopping centres, the main doors are now missing? That is, you just walk into the restroom entrance, turn 90° a couple of times and there you are. Of course, the individual toilet cubicle doors are still there*, but I wonder what brought about the change. Cost-cutting? Health concerns? Traffic flow? Easier for cleaning staff to enter and exit?

*One cannot take individual toilet doors for granted. Once my sister and I went to use the public toilet in a foreign country...only to discover there were no doors! Needless to say, we lost the urge to go.

Stealing a part of my soul.

Aaargh. What is it about smiling for a camera that's so unnatural? I can hold it for about 4 seconds, then I feel like I've turned into the Joker.

Hair, no hair

I spent $2.50 on new hair ties. Then I went and chopped off my hair, so that those new hair ties are useless for the next five months. WHY?

Irrational

I engage in irrational behaviour and I'm not sure why.

The situation is this: I usually don't have any chocolate, biscuits or chips in the house because I am not to be trusted with them when I'm stressed.

So when I feel like doing some comfort eating, I will spend ten minutes in the kitchen opening pantry door after pantry door, opening the fridge door and freezer, several times. I basically go round and round in circles in the kitchen, opening door after door, looking for non-existent comfort food. I know it's not there because I haven't bought any and I know the contents of the pantry and fridge. Yet I still go foraging, in the vain hope I may have overlooked some biscuits. WHY?

When I finally give up, I ask, "WHY IS THERE NO CHOCOLATE/CHIPS/BISCUITS IN THE HOUSE???"

Lolly teeth.

Braces are really handy for sticking your lolly teeth in place. When did lolly teeth start tasting minty? Is it supposed to reinforce the irony of eating something teeth-shaped which is actually bad for your teeth, by tasting like toothpaste? I think I prefer whatever they used to taste like.

Why different bananas?

There are bananas, there are lady finger bananas, there are sugar bananas. I'm not sure why we have 3 sorts of bananas, or why the smaller ones cost more. I know there are differences in apples, but I would never pay more for lady fingers, they even look less bendy and bananary. I would pay less. I resent their existence.

I just went to use the 'banana' tag, but we don't have one yet. What an oversight! There is one now. I'm going to go back and tag all our banana posts. It's hard to think of a bigger topic on this blog than bananas.

Why I don't buy a drink.

I like water. It is free, functional and fluoridated. It is zero calorie. What better drink is there? Green tea comes a close second for health, chai latte is my latest obsession for yummy. But water is the best.

I always feel a bit pov when I ask for water at a restaurant, because it makes me look stingy and unadventurous, like I'm too cheap and I'm not gourmet enough to buy a glass of wine or a bubble tea. That's partly true, but also water is the best.

Here is a blog I found where someone compares the worst non-water drinks. Given the choice between a bottle of sunkist and 6 ice-cream sandwich oreos, get me a glass of water and I'll eat those oreos. That's what it's all about! Value for calorie intake. Delicousness and Nutritiousness per calorie. I like to EAT my sugar and fat. Beware the empty calories, and drink water.

Why photobooth (webcam thingy) portraits are cool.

• The camera is at the top of the screen, so you get that flattering from above angle.
• The lens is lightly curved, so this slightly alters the dimensions of your face: Bigger forehead, smaller chin. My natural dimensions are skewed the other way, so for me this is a pleasing correction. In general, it creates a cuter face shape, because babies have bigger foreheads and smaller chins.
• Black and white, and filters which exaggerate colour, are great for smoothing out uneven skin tone, hiding blemishes, and drawing attention to your eyes and mouth, minimizing your nose.
• Also, they are a mirror image, and I find that when I flip them I often look weird, because I normally see myself in a mirror. My mirror face is the normal me to me.