Surprise Lord's Prayer.

We usually remember to pray before music practice at church. I decided to to the Lord's Prayer once. So the three of us shut our eyes while I recited it, and it was good but weird. And it seemed a lot more epic than music practice requires. As those familiar sentences loomed in my mind the split second before I said them out loud I kept feeling "wow". YOUR KINGDOM COME. FORGIVE US OUR SINS AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US. THE KINGDOM THE POWER AND THE GLORY ARE YOURS NOW AND FOREVER. It was big stuff compared to what we normally pray at 4.10pm.

On parenting.

Several years ago when I went to church at the Cathedral in the CBD one of our pastors recommended this talk by Tim Keller called "It takes a city to raise a child". I found it very fascinating. A lot here about singles and their part in the church family.

http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_ID=26

Joy in serving

Our church has two services in the evenings and the same music team serves at both. A sister started providing dinner for the musos during the evening and put together a roster. I've provided dinner twice and it's never been anything fancy. Just simple pasta dishes. They have been so grateful and  receptive that they've made it a real joy to serve them. It's so much easier to serve when those being served are so positive, enthusiastic and thankful. I must remember to be the same when I'm on the receiving end of someone's service.

Thoughts on welcoming newcomers at church

• Be warm, friendly and interested. 
• Find out what brought them to church that day. How did they hear about our church? Do they usually go to church?
• Show an interest in the person. Find out their story: where are they from? Where did they grow up? Do they live locally? Are they a Christian (if so, how did they become one?)? If not, what is their understanding of the Christian faith (probe to see interest levels and share the gospel if appropriate)?
• What does their daily life look like?
• What are their key relationships? Married? Single? Family?
• What are they interested in? What are they passionate about?
• If they're a Christian, and they're looking for a church to join, tell them about small groups and what usually happens at church. 
• Invite them to join you for morning tea, supper, dinner etc etc after church. The regulars know that supper is in the church hall after the service, but newcomers don't know anything: that there even is a church hall, let alone where it is, and that supper is on.
• Introduce them to other people at church, so they can start getting to know people and building relationships. It also takes the pressure off you for maintaining a conversation with a stranger. Also means that if they come back, other people will be around to say hello if you're not there.
• Include them in conversations, and when in a group conversation, be deliberate in making eye contact, so they know you are aware of them, that you're interested in them being a part of your group. Find a way to include them in the conversation.
• Find a point of commonality.
• Talk less, listen more.
• Be aware of what it's like to be new and a stranger. Think how you would feel and what would make you feel as if people wanted you there and wanted you to return.

Being new

Being new at church is hard, even for an extrovert like me, who loves meeting people. It's hard rocking up to a new church on your own and potentially not knowing anyone, especially if you thought church started at 9:30am, not 9:45am, and you sit there like a nigel while people are running after kids or running like headless chooks in order to get ready for church, and it's 20 minutes before someone talks to you. You start to feel strong pangs in your heart as you miss the people and the familiarity of your old church. I can see how people might lapse from being part of a church family if they had to change churches.

Forming new relationships is a two way street. The people there have to be willing to welcome you and talk to you, but you have to be willing to get involved, introduce yourself and make an effort. If you can put up with the initial discomfort of being new, get involved and just hang in there, your new church family will soon be familiar and start to feel like family. That's my strategy anyway.

Tender and tough

I've moved away from the east and I'm keen to make connections locally, so I've started going along to my local church. They run a course for newbies to get to the know the pastor and understand what the church is on about, in order for you to work out whether this church is for you.

One thing the pastor talked about, regarding what they wanted to achieve at church, was tender love in encouragement and tough love in confrontation*.

In my experience, when you receive tender love in encouragement at the right time, it is such a balm to the soul. When you receive tough love in confrontation, but at the wrong time, it is crushing to the spirit and you feel so misunderstood and unsupported. When you receive it at the right time, yes, it's a little painful, but you know that person has your best interests at heart, you would do well to heed their words and it is spoken out of love.

It takes wisdom and discernment to know which to use: spending time in the other person's shoes, understanding their lives and the situation they're in, and then making the call. Knowing which love to give at what time is one of the most helpful things you can ever give to a person.

*John Piper uses the same language in The Meaning of Membership and Church Accountability.

The age gap.

I wonder about old people. 

Our society talks about the "ageing population" and retirement age and other economic things, and also about the social contributions made by older people, like caring for grandkids while their kids work, volunteering in general, and then there are things like ANZAC day which honour the sacrifices of those who are now old, and also the burden of caring for the elderly.

In church (local, bloggy, Sydney, etc), I don't notice any equivalent conversations. The young are completely privileged. I won't list the privileges but I do like them :) I feel so blessed and cared for.

But older people are silent. It seems like they burrow down into their traditions and their 8.30 am services. It's hard to connect with them because we never see each other. Is it a problem? I don't know, but it's weird to live in a void. There are probably significant opportunities being missed for us to serve each other and build each other up, and society in general is having these conversations, so it's strange that churches sort of aren't, in my experience. Elsie goes to a morning church and I do sometimes, but still—in a big church there are so few reasons to share your life with anyone outside your demographic… That's my impression, anyway. I'm going to try and keep my eyes and ears open more now.

Christian community

One of the things I find most encouraging about being part of the Christian community is how willing people are to help when you need it, even if it's helping a stranger.

I have been really encouraged this week by brothers (and a sister) who were quick to help a friend of mine move, even though most of them had never met her before. Now she was of slender means, so needed all the manpower she could muster to help with the move.

I was encouraged that these helpers were willing to give up part of their Saturday to do this (Saturdays were so precious to me as a worker), be so good-natured and kind about it and not expect anything in return.

And the especially great thing about having brothers to help? They are physically stronger and more able to lift heavy items than us womenfolk. I can still lift stuff, but it's just so much easier for men.

I'm so thankful to God for his provision of willing and able helpers!

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (ESV)

John 13:35

Good stuff on the internet:

2 things I've benefited from today on the wonderful world-wide web.

9marks record interviews with pastors on pastoral issues, and there is an interview with Mark Dever talking to Carolyn McCulley about pastoring singles. It might not be a new podcast, but it is new for me cos I stopped paying much attention to singleness/dating gurus because... I know the theory already. So knew nothing about McCulley. This covers some interesting stuff.

At the Best Book Co-op. Cathy and friends are thinking through what they call (in Maitland) Gospel Community, with a bit of a focus on depression and crisis at the moment.

Something not about food, clothes or speedos.

It is not the habit of jelssie to be deep and profound, but just for some variety I'll finish the week with something I read today on a proper theological blog...

If you hadn't realised, I like to be observant, and often I judge. I'm sure you're all still reeling from my opinion of "cold toast".

But on Sunday nights I also judge what goes on up the front of church. And when I'm serving (sort of up the front), I turn and judge the participation of the rest of church. I can see all sorts of failings.

Conveniently, somehow, I never fall under my own scrutiny.

Claire Smith helpfully pointed out the obvious today on Sola Panel. I think everyone (who complains about their church) should read it.

...We will now return to our regular programming.

Visiting for Fellowship.

This is my newly invented euphemism for when girls visit other churches to scope out the husband prospects. Fellowship. Get it?

I'm not that brazen. I go to KCC working bees.

(90% kidding)

The ETTR Rule.

I don't think He's just not that into you was a great movie. But one of the main ideas has come back to me. "You are not the exception, you are the rule." There are people out there who have amazing love stories, but they are the exception, so don't pin all your hopes on the exception. Be realistic.

In particular, I want my church to be a vibrant cool growing church like ****. But the number of VCG churches is quite small compared to all the regular churches... the VCG churches are the Exception, my church is the Rule. The Exception churches are unique, and you can't imitate them directly. But it's not so bad to be in the Rule group. I found this article helpful.

"mega-whatevers are the exception, not the rule; and that the church has survived throughout the ages not just - or even primarily - because of the high profile firework displays of the great and the good, but because of the day to day faithfulness of the mundane, anonymous, non-descript people who constitute most of the church, and who do the grunt work and the tedious jobs that need to be done."

Remember The Exception To The Rule Rule.